shit dumb dumb

So yesterday I literally slept - and I do mean literally - all day.
Got up a few times to let the dogs out to do their business as well as take care of my own.
Oh, speaking of business, I almost had an accidental business in my pants.
I was lying down in bed and thought I just had to fart but then my stomach burbled and I knew that if I let it go it was going to get messy so I went to the can and I was right.
And this is the last time I talk about poop on my blog I swear.
Then later on at about 6pm I got up to shower and when I got out and lied down on the couch Cheryl comes up and says she's going to go hang out with my good friend because I mean, that's not weird at all.
In my odd sleepy trance I was like uhh yeah that makes me feel totally insecure like, oh my God he doesn't want to be my friend anymore and he's going to replace me with my sister.
I'm over it now though.
Although my pathetic-ness over things like that never ceases to astound me.

So one time when I was a kid I was chasing something in my grandparents backyard and I wasn't looking where I was going and I ran mouth first into a picnic table and knocked a tooth out and I was crying and crying then everyone came to my rescue and I felt all loved.
I shoved a bead up my nose when I was a kid too. Cheryl made me do it. It got stuck and we had to go to the hospital to get it sucked out. I think I got a sucker "for being brave". Apparently when you're a kid you can get away with the absolute dumbest shit on this planet and still be told you're brave when you make your parents drag your ass to the emergency to waste everyone's time.
OK I'm going to go back to bed.


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