cranny moles

I woke up and drank coffee, flipped through the paper to find out that a fat guy in the city's council is a blogger and that at London Drugs you can get 2 cans of nuts for only 5 dollars.


An interesting night it was.
My sort of once upon time friend/school peer/once drunk make out person, Dan, called me at fucking 1 AM on the one night I'm actually sleeping and he's all drunk and what not telling me he's just down my street and wants me to come have a beer and talk and I'm like "NO! I'm fucking sleeping!" So he's just going on with his drunk babbling - something about how we "make plans" and then never actually do anything and the rest I couldn't understand so I just said no I'm not coming out to have a beer whilst I'm still half asleep and he kept on begging me. Drunk people don't know the meaning of 'no', did you know that? Oh and he did the one thing I hate most - he called once then called right back a second later. When someone doesn't answer the first time you call there is usually a reason like, I don't know, they're sleeping, not there, screening your calls. Plus I have an answering machine and call display so I know you called and if you're important enough I will call you back. The only reason I answered the second time is because usually when someone is that determined to get a hold of you at an hour like that there's something wrong.
Hour later - Cheryl comes stumbling into the house, the dogs bark and wake me up again and she lets two "totally smoking hot guys" who were "macking on her all night" in to pee so there's more noise for ya then they go and she bangs her way up the stairs to tell me that she's home because there is no way I would have figured it out on my own what with the two stranger dude's voices and slamming and dog barking and toilet flushing going on.
This morning after coffee and paper and before blog I went downstairs to say good morning and ask if she wanted some java and what do I see but a thousand dollar camera sitting on the dryer. She doesn't know how it got there. Being the fine detective that I am I came up with two possible explanations: she either stole it or the hot gay lovers left it there when they came in to urinate.
Either way I want it and next time the whole world is drunk drinking I want to participate.

oh and i completely forgot.
i had a dirty dirty sex dream sometime during the night
i was the only one in it
figure that out.


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