just a

quickie update
i have a migraine disorder
i got three sample packs of pills from the neurologist
eletripan
almotripan
and rizatripan
stacy and i showed each other our nipples last night
got some of the bad stuff
my neighbor this morning wouldn't shut up about her new bed on wheels i went outside to pick a green pepper and she's just yammering on and i'm hungover so i'm not doing a very good job feigning interest
made two huge racks of pork ribs
and painted
cheryl wants to buy a painting from me fucking weird right i mean you're my sister you can have it for free its just doodle crap anyway
the one i made for her i really want to keep though
vodka sucks
no wonder i stopped drinking it for 2 years


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licker window

i did a funny thing last night where I mistaked a pre-mixed drink (consisting of 2 oz of whiskey) for the leftovers of a whiskey and iced tea I had been drinking for well over an hour
took a swig
mouth was like BAM on fire
Instantly spat that shit back into the cup then ran to the sink to gag and wash my mouth out
my mom was like what the fuck was that kelly
and i was like IT WAS FUCKING RYE
she's alll hahahahahahh ooops

James attracts crazies
no word of lie
they stalk him and ask him on dates and for cigarettes
they are also totally illegal for him
'cause they're all like 16 and he so is not
facebook=

Kelly Niel

Today at 6:16pm

wear a shirt
that says
"stay away
you fucking window lickers"

window licker is a horrible term and I am using it in correlation with the definition SPAZ not special children on the short bus with mental disabilities I'm not that crude horrible and heartless

if i could marry mini wheats i would
if i could live off nothing but mini wheats i would

up until now i was in an abnormally normal mood
fuck you it makes sense to me


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i'm easy

I'm gnawing at my gum like its going out of style
it is starting to make my jaw hurt
rye and iced tea is gross
but i have no coke cola and booze is the only thing that numbs my headaches no lie i'm so serious i'm not just making up a reason to drink
pffft
like i need a reason
cheryl is out on a fancy dinner date at some point tonight
i know this because she showed me her expensive dress just for the occasion and wouldn't stop talking about it the past two weeks and she called me about 30 minutes ago to tell me she was getting nervous
only my sister would be nervous about going to dinner as she will be required to display proper dining etiquette and despite our model training and course on proper etiquette she still finds it impossible to behave as though she wasn't raised by a family of bovines
last night my mother and I agreed that neither of us know why people like me or her

i paint a rabbit twice and my sister thinks I have a bunny obsession
excuse me for being lazy and having no idea how to draw or paint
plus i don't like horses
bunnies are easy
I'M easy
good song


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'cause you are gagging for it

i decided i'm not going to be a fatty anymore
that's all i'm going to say about it
i won't be like 'blah blah blah i did this and this and that today and i lost 3 pounds oh and last week i lost 5 go me'
'cause that shit is fucking irritating
although i did walk a lot yesterday

i stole a paintbrush from the dollar store yesterday
i don't even know why it was only a dollar like what the hell kelly?
they even sell painting canvases there did you know that?
i didn't either until yesterday when i bought 6

did i mention i'm going to be sherlock holmes for halloween
i thought for a second of being mia from pulp fiction not because i like the movie i haven't even seen the entire thing i just think it would be simple get a wig black pants check white shirt check and like her i like that song from urge overkill and coke
heather you're messed in the head and coming from me that is saying something
quit fucking with my friend
crazy bitch


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well alright

Went to the drum/fire circle last night to surprise Darcy. Plus I was drunk which numbed the headache I've had for 4 days now. Awsome. The fuck heads moved it to the clap circle labyrinth thing somewhere betwixt the two parks and we said fuck those hypocrites then the damn bi-law showed up and everyone took off and I was like oh well isn't this fun good thing I only spent 15 minutes getting ready and not an hour like Cheryl. She did look pretty and girly but I gave her a hard time over it because I'm a mean fuck. Rumor is the circle moved because the hippie reefer smokers don't like the drinkers and other druggie burn outs. I called them pompous and I'm not sure why. OH OH OH and then we decided to go home and watch TV but we stopped at the liquor store to get more liquor and we ran into none other than Nich ( dip fuck I, yeah) and his bitch of a loser whore face Barbie reincarnate girlfriend and Cheryl's even bigger dip fuck ex boyfriend. and he was wearing a back pack and plaid shirt and I thought to myself oh yeah Riley you don't look AT ALL like a derelict dirt bag with AIDS. Good times. Nich's girlfriend Lee poked her head through the window as Cheryl introduced us and she was like "so you're the infamous Kelly" my first thought was WHY DO PEOPLE KEEP SAYING THAT TO ME that's seriously the third or so time someone has called me infamous and I don't know why. I don't even know these people I don't go out I'm getting off track. So I replied "I don't like the sounds of that" and she was like "oh don't worry I've heard nothing but good things" and I was thinking well were one of those good things about how a friend and I got drunk and not fucked but double teamed your TOOL of a boyfriend in my shower? I knew the second we drove away the shit-slinging they'd be doing so I did some of my own. Because I hate them :)
It was so funny before we left I mentioned something that if I didn't go tell Darcy I'm sorry and blah blah if he's there and Cheryl was like "Kelly, Darcy not being there is like a fly not being attracted to a pile of shit" I laughed. Not that Darcy is either a fly or a piece of shit.


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dex

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I've got nothing
or do I
have something

got season two of Dexter
Almost finished watching it
I find that murderous ginger nut bizzarly attractive
learned that Stacy is more hetero than I am for she likes man ass and I don't even remotely find any dude ass to be a turn on.
I remember after going at it my ex sat naked on my bed and asked for a towel as he wanted to take a quick shower since I just did anyway he walked out of the room still naked and as I watched him and his butt stroll past me I realized I didn't like dude ass
yeah cool story Hansel, am I right?
jesus fuck I just spilled coffee on the keyboard
fuck my life
and fuck all you assholes who make Stacy's life hell


yeah I was right the first time
I have nothing
I'll get it back I promise.


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i need more

I bought the film Full Frontal today and I just watched it
I don't know it must be the alcohol but I just did not get it at all
No it IS the alcohol
I'll re-watch it tomorrow and be like AHHH OHHH I get it now
not
wait no let me re-phrase that
I can't decide if it actually has some artistic worth or if it is just some pretentious wannabe drivel Hollyweird crap
I'll just imdb some reviews on it then I'll have an opinion and an idea

don't you hate it when certain alcohols get your body drunker than your head? I like my head and body both being drunk because then you act stupid and look stupid but when your head is sober and your body is drunk you feel stupid because you can see yourself stumbling and knocking things over and you're really trying so hard not to but your brain and appendages just aren't collaborating like, they didn't get the memo

God I was dead set on having a normal post today
but as per usual it went to shit the second I started to drink
I'm drinking Pina Coladas and wine by the way
awsome combination
too much sugar
my head is going to hurt in the morning.


I spent half my money while shopping today
bought a really REALLY ugly sweater
I love it
it suits me perfectly
and some underwear
perfume
other minute stupid shit I don't remember
a Batman notebook
because the one I already had the dye used on the front cover was leaking through into all the pages
I don't even like Batman
he's a fraud
a poser
I have nothing left to say

===========================

James - says:
Jason has picture of me with a stolen solar lamp riding a horse and me with a huge hat

James - says:
i ended up trying to fight jason, josh and elliot at one point and i took of my pants cause i wanted to be faster

Kelly says:
HAHAHHAHAH

James - says:
yea, so i was jumping around swinging with boxers on and a hat

Kelly says:
wow

Kelly says:
you amaze me sometimes

James - says:
i wonder about myself sometimes



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supa fly drink drank drunk

ok first of all why do these damn websites keep fucking "updating" I hate all your new shit so stop fucking changing AND ALL AT THE SAME TIME I think they're all conspiring against me

blackbird

I don't get what a black sun is but ok. I suppose I could Google it.

I love alcohol way too much I was not happy and I had a drink and another drink and now I feel weird too happy.

I suck at blogging.

I uhm
am going to go to the porn store soon
still haven't done that
jacked it today
because I'm a dude
apparently
toy


ryan you are a creepy fuck and don't come back

I think another creepy guy who was at Stacy's party was named Ryan. Every time I looked over at him he was staring at either my face or my tits. fuck your mom you weird old pervert

I need to do the dishes

and and and something else

I need something to do


sorry this post sucks people who read this
I'm drunk and alone and stupid and feeling crazy crazy supa fly


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real butter

weak week

Wednesday, Thursday, or Friday I don't remember but it was Stacy's birthday party she had family over and she got us a piñata with matching Best Friend keys chain necklaces which is so juvenile its adult since we don't know how to use our words that's how we tell each other "love you man". We drank and drank and drank and did coke and coke and more coke. I lost track of how many drinks I had which I quite literally never do and I lost track of how many lines we did. I was drunk off my ass and coked out my mind I couldn't get my eyes to open wide enough and I kept thinking god why won't they just open a little wider that's all they need to do and I was all twitchy but I didn't get the drips probably because I was drinking one beer after the other and just wasn't able to register it. I think we went to bed at 4 AM Stacy passed right out and I lied there with my heart pounding in my ears for over two hours listening to music thinking about either something or nothing. How high I was didn't even freak me out which was beyond weird. I was super depressed that day and the three before that before Stacy called me in the afternoon I was sitting at my kitchen table and lost it and started crying uncontrollably. I went to the mall a few days later and I really really REALLY fucking hate that place. The only thing I bought was an iced espresso. Saw The Dark Knight. Was too pathetic to really pay attention which I think bummed James out because he really liked it and the whole time all I could think was how DID the Joker get his scars and Maggie Gyllenwhatever is just as if not more boring than Katie Holmes.

Oh at Stacy's party her little surrogate brothers loved me. One had to go to bed early because he was being a shit and his mom wasn't having it. The youngest one I think he was 4 or 5? anyway he just loved me for some reason because kids hate me because they somehow intuitively know I hate them but I was drunk ergo I was nice and happy and it was so sweet he kept picking flowers and bringing them to me. Stacy and her fake mom Deidre kept telling me all night how pretty they thought I was but I saw through it, they were patronizing me because I'm so transparent they could tell how much I hated life and myself that day plus I stuck out like a sore thumb with my whiter than white skin and dark red lips and the rest of my slob body. It was rad. I really like them all.

I crapped like 6 times yesterday and stayed up most of the night watching TV on my sister's memory foam bed and chasing her stupid horrible cats all over the basement.

a haiku for Darcy:

Darcy you rock ass
My Haiku skills are such shit
Ice cream and big balls

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so she's like BLAh and then I'm like TA-DAH

This is what Nexopia forum "stats" shit looks like and I only post on one forum with pretty well only one person I know in it and you know him too his name is James but he knows the people who post in it well some of them anyway. I digress, everyone in the forum hates me except James and I know they do even if they don't say it but they ignore me and well probably because I only ever talk random bullshit about myself stuff like this:
oh and I forgot how to be grammar police lately but you don't care because when I type and spell better than you you just think I'm a pretentious topper anyway



kelly.R.cool
Addict
- Online -


Age 45, Female
Posts: 4,168

________________________________
- read my blog :
http://theycallmekelly.blogspot.com



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WHY IS MY COMPUTER BEEPING AT ME

james is gon be rick astley for halloween

i spilled jager and coke on my keyboard and now the l and m keys stick like shit on shoes

Quote:

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Originally posted by: Wafflesrule
The Dark Knight, it was amazing.

I want to see it again

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we go see it soon
when we can get a person with an automobile because buses are butt fuck

how do you guys turn a thread about a stripper into a goober hetero love fest ungh
(they were going on about ohh boohoo I misses you BLAH BLAH BLAH WHINE WHINE WHINE actually they weren't whining they each said I miss you and it made me bitchy)


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i over estimate you people

Guess who drank a lot last night?

Guess who woke up and drank today?

Guess who has had the equivalent of 7 cups of coffee in the last 3 hours?

Guess who forgot how to answer a phone this morning?
I really seriously forgot how to answer a telephone. I got up out of bed at 9 when it rang and I stared at it with drowsy eyes and wondered what I was going to say when I picked it up. The best I could come up with was, "Uhm... yea- hi." No question mark. Thank God it was just my mom and not someone important.

Guess who watched Red Dragon and giggled at herself when the symbol for the red dragon was shown because she used to be obsessed with it when she was a kid?

Guess who had hilarious fake cyber sex with a seriously surprising person while James sat by her side?

Guess who has no shame and sent real nudies to said fake cyber sex surprise person?

Guess who has a friend who is trying to set her up with a lame-o guy who is "nice with blue eyes and is a virgin and is into sex but will wait till I'm ready"?

I've been gagging at that last one all day.
I love my best friend.
You're a bigger drunk than me.
And that is quite the feat.

It kind of hurts my feelings that she thinks I need a guy and a guy who is a big wuss at that.
Well OK I don't know that he's a wuss but she thinks he wants a girl like me and I'm like what he wants a nut case? What's worse is she thinks setting me up with a "nice guy" is a good idea. Uhh man I think I've frightened and scared and corrupted enough people already. I'd break the poor guy. Crazy bitch bags like me and nice respectful dudes don't mix, mmkay?
But thanks for thinking of your old bubble popping friend Kelly.
after i said to her that 'haha oh he wants a loser face?' she was like aww kel no you're so amazing i see it in you everyday you just don't see it.
LUVZHUGZKISSEZ

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i know what that all means and you don't
go suck some ass


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