i have never been so embarrassed in my life

Had some really deep arguments with my mom and sister yesterday. capitol punishment and boob jobs. i'm against both and sister is all for killing people and mom is all for plastic so they, of course, throw some big elaborate circumstances my way so as to make their points. my rebuttals were short and sweet like me minus the sweet. tax dollars or human rights, hmmm... sorry there's no justifying taking a human life. that ended that one. and no having breast cancer and mastectomy and then reconstruction is not the same as having some boobie insecurities. losing a part of your body is not equal to mosquito bite tits mmkay?
god i'm so deep

then being the rocket scientist genius that i am i got drunk and subsequently decided it would be a good great awsome idea to take a tab of ecstacy and just hang out and be cool all by myself. around 12 pm it kicks in just when i think its a lost cause and then i start texting jamie - warning him of the dangers of drunk dialing/emailing/texting and of course driving. he says since he doesn't drive he's got that one covered and that his next purchase is going to be a 10-15 grand car and at this point i don't even know what exactly was going on in my pickled little brain but i determined a 10-15 grand car was the name of a vehicle, told him i don't know what that is and something about car lingo i'm not up to date on blah blah kelly's a blonde bimbo basically. 30 minutes later i clue in. grand means thousand, kelly. as in DOLLARS not like pontiac grand prix kind of deal. I've been obsessing about is since. i've never felt so stupid/smart in my life and i say that with absolute conviction.
how can you tell i'm compensating for that fuck up with smrt people words?

good story kelly

moral of the story though - don't do drugs they make you do stupid things

i like it better when i'm not feeling sorry for myself


spicy pickled beans do not get along with my stomach and the best drunken midnight snack ever is camembert on crackers with a side of tap water and gravol

i found out my dad votes conservative.
EWW
good thing he's only my step or i might be ashamed telling you that

and here's a fun fact
i know 6 left handed people
all of which are dudes
and given that i don't socialize and all that jazz that's pretty impressive i think
right ok then


_